It’s been almost 2 years and 4 months since I came to her revealing my prayer – my desire of having a family, a family that gives honor to whom honor is due and being her as the partner who my heart longs for. I remember that staggered look on her face while I did my first proposal. I can somehow analyze what a person thinks simply through his/her gestures but not the look of that kind. I didn’t know if she’s processing my words then and if I needed to back them up with some sort of ‘spiritual’ dogma but I knew that I must hold my ground.
I never experienced audible revelations like hearing a whisper of her name from nowhere and I never asked a sign of whoever comes out of that door first but I did have my set of principles. Yes, principles and not standards. I think standards focus on others- who I prefer they should be and what I think they should do or what I suppose they must have and that’s none of my business. I am more concerned about being the best of myself, build principles, and live them out. While I’m busy reading, studying and praying, there I noticed her, sometimes cheerful and sometimes sober.
A glimpse of her gave me a feeling that I thought what the knights of long ago felt when they have to win the heart of a maiden which requires battling and killing monsters, climbing mountains, etc. We don’t have monsters today other than those “Feeling Macho Men” flirting with women, no different from those “Brainy Men” winning women using their wits and disguise. No, I never killed one, YET. And yes, I never climbed a mountain other than those high cities with paved highways. But I chose a path. I believe men who walk with me along this path will agree that it requires strength of will and lots of self-denial- the character that is just appropriate for women such as her and her kind.
While others are lowering their grounds, she’s building hers. Picket fences are the norm but she has a solid high wall of principles. And that’s what made me stand up- and WAIT.
In less than 5 months from now we will be tying the knot. I’d like to think that we’re ready but the more I know then the more I realize that we can’t totally be. This thought makes me come back to where it all started- Grace.
18 “There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand:
19 the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a young woman.
Proverbs 30:18-19, New International Version (NIV)